Revison Blues

I thought my novel "Roll Call by the Elephants" was publishable; I've shared it with friends who raved about it, and I've received "good" rejections, editors wanting to see more after reading the sample chapters. But there's the rub as good ol' Shakespeare would say--as I reread "Roll Call," chapter by chapter making notes, some of the chapters are quite good, but some are not--especially the one that deals with N. and B. breaking up. The story of their romance is weak, albeit realistic. Some guys do just dump you with no reason why, with little explanation--but that won't work in fiction because the nosy reader wants to know why. Why does B. just dump N.? In my original draft, N. and B. have sex and she gets pregnant and has a miscarriage, but later I decided that that just doesn't fit, so instead she keeps her virginity and wonders if that's why he breaks up with her. In addition to B.'s focus on his art, and not wanting anything to get in its way.

Now I'm wondering--should I go back to the edgier version? Which version best fits the theme--that people who meet as strangers on the job can actually become family, that friendship can help people overcome hardships. I think the recent version is best--so N. keeps her virginity for the moment and no miscarriage. But why does B. dump N.? Is it just because he's enamored with his art? Or is there something about N. he doesn't like? Or does he meet someone else?

This romance is a subplot and shouldn't take over the entire book, but I have questions to answer.